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Friday, September 14, 2012

Typical U.S. Government

This is hilarious....

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page onthe Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ...

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep."

"Now give me back my dog."

2 comments:

LastLaugh said...

This is a rather silly story that makes no sense until the author's bias shows in having to lather on presumed incompetence about being able to tell a cow apart from a dog.
There is also the typical narrow-minded xenophobia in listing foreign brands - tough, but the plumbing of the balance of payment is not the government's doing, it's that of the farmer and other self-proclaimed patriots who can't tell a Chinese product from an American one.
What this story does show, is how much private business (all these (c)'s) and especially high-tech depends on government spending for its existence.
Not to mention the farmer, who is just as busy harvesting subsidies as raising sheep - in fact, most income for sheep farmers in the U.S. is gained at the tit of the very government this post disparages.
Just another bigoted hypocritical post.

Anonymous said...

Oh relax....you take yourself so seriously.........and yeah, that means you Last Laugh. Your last laugh must have been 40 years ago, if ever. Chill out.